Arthritis Mom

Going on vacation is fun, a time to relax and get away from it all. I love vacation and I've always been a "go with the flow" and "let's hit the road anytime" kind of girl. We are getting ready to go on vacation this week and I think it's coming too fast. I'm not ready! I need more time!

There is so much to do and I'm not mentally prepared to do any of it. I don't think I'm mentally prepared for the vacation at all. This will be our third trip as a family since the twins were born but our very first going somewhere that does not have a washing machine. How can I possibly keep a family of 8 running for a week without the ability to wash clothes? Should I be planning to wash them in the lake and hang them up to dry? Hmmm, maybe that would work.

I have to do my Humira injection while on vacation. I don't know why this discombobulates me so. It's not that hard, throw the box in a lunch cooler with a cold pack, put it in the fridge when we get there. If it's possible to have obsessive-compulsiveness related to one activity - this would be it for me. I obsess over whether the cold pack is cold enough, or two cold, check a hundred times if I really did remember to put the prescription in there. When we get there is the fridge cold enough, did anyone accidentally throw the box out not knowing what it was.....

Beyond that, I have a boatload of laundry to do before we go. My luggage ripped on my way back from Oklahoma so I need to find time to go buy a new luggage bag, we found an infant life vest but they only had one left so we have to go find another one somewhere, and I need to get a blood test before we go (the fun of being on methotrexate).

I've been doing a lot better lately, fewer flares and less morning stiffness. But this vacation is about fun and activity, and I'm not sure I'm up to the task. The idea of keeping two suddenly very mobile babies away from water danger frightens me. I know there are lots of helping hands on this trip but somehow I'm taking all this worry, fear, planning, obligation, responsibility on myself. And it's making the vacation not sound like much fun.

My final depressing observation is that I always looked forward to vacations because it was a break from work, the normal daily grind. But now that I'm not working, my normal daily grind is going on the trip with us! Bottles, diapers, cleaning, and oh my gosh, I am a nut about vacuuming since the babies are crawling around on the floor now - do I need to take my vacuum on vacation with us?

My normal optimistic view seems to have flown right out the window. Deep breath. It will probably all be fine once we get there. I need to find a few positives. The trip will be fun, the kids will have a blast, they will wear dirty clothes and not care or I'll find a way to wash them, I might be able to convince my husband to pack the vacuum and that I can't bait my own hook due to having rheumatoid arthritis.....