Arthritis Mom

The babies are 1 year old! It's been an amazing year of stress, anxiety, sleepless nights, joy, excitement and blessing. The babies have grown from these tiny little 3 lb. miracles to healthy, happy, mobile and talkative little people. I knew going in that the first year with twins was tough, I was ready for that challenge. I did not know how hard it would be to be a mom of infants with rheumatoid arthritis. But I did it, I am that mom and I am surviving every day and very grateful for all that I do have.

I really want to sit down and reflect on the past year more but I can't seem to find any time. We haven't actually celebrated their birthday although it was two days ago - because we can't find any time the 8 of us are home at the same time longer than a few minutes. We think Saturday looks promising. Some days I am so busy I have to spend the babies morning nap time psyching myself up for what lies ahead. Yesterday was probably the worst it's ever been.

I knew it was going to be a big day. My husband was out of town for the entire day, a trip he tried to get out of but could not. I had errands that could not be put off, my daugther had a ballet rehearsal, my oldest stepson had 8th grade graduation and I had no help. Both my feet hurt, the fingers of my left hand, and my jaw which is the most annoying joint to swell up since it effects eating.

We were all up at 7am, the babies had their first bottle, ate breakfast, I put them down for the first nap and got my daughter off to school. After the babies woke from their morning nap around 11am, we ate an early lunch and headed to the car. We had to run by the post office to mail a camp registration, then to the pediatrician to drop off a health form to be filled out, then to the ballet store to get slippers, and to the grocery store. This was my first experience shopping with twins with no help - and I know I'm lucky to make it a year and say that (many thanks to online grocery shopping and a husband that often works from home). When we got home a little after 2pm and they were ready for another bottle and another nap. Once they were down I had exactly 1 hour to myself. I must tell you first that I do not cook, nearly ever. In that 1 hour and solely driven by 2nd graders desire to have a normally mommy - I whipped up 30 cupcakes. At the end of that hour I went in the babies room, grabbed one, put him in the car, ran back, grabbed the other one, into the car she went, ran back in grabbed the last batch of cupcakes out of the oven, covered them with foil, turned off the oven, ran out the car and sped down the driveway.

3 minutes later we were at the school. I had prearranged to have the school secretary walk my daughter outside so I did not have to get the babies out of the car. My daughter hopped in and 10 minutes later we were at ballet rehearsal. Stroller, babies, diaper bag, ballet bag, dinner/snack bag and off we went. Leotard, tights, slippers, braids, stage makeup and walk her back and get her settled. Stroller, babies, diaper bag and back in the car. Another hour successfully timed and completed. Special note: ballet tights should have a warning: "May be hazardous to mom's with arthritis." Drive home, babies dinner, bottle, diapers, down for last nap, throw in a load of clothes, time for my shower, get dressed, hair, makeup, change babies clothes and back in the car. 2 hours successfully timed and completed. Head to rehearsal location, pick up mini ballerina, change her clothes, wash off her makeup and off to 8th grade graduation for oldest stepson. At the graduation babies acting wonderfully despite being past their bedtime - last 2 hours survived. Home at 9pm.

We got in and my daughter helped me get the babies changed and into bed. They were exhausted and went right to sleep. It was then that I found out not everyone in 2nd grade likes chocolate cupcakes. It's one of those moments where you say to yourself, why did I not think of this myself? Is it worse to be a mom who never makes cupcakes, or one who makes cupcakes 1/2 the kids won't eat? You want to put your foot down and say "I made these cupcakes and those kids are darned well going to eat them!" But it doesn't really work that way, and the point is to make it be a special day for my daughter so I moped to the cabinet and pulled out a box of yellow cake. Her face went from sad to relieved to happy. We baked more cupcakes and decorated the chocolate ones. It was very late when she finally went to bed, even later for me but we had fun and it was a really cool ending to a very long, exhausting day. I'm glad I had the extra box.

I suppose I am doing better than just surviving. As hard as yesterday was mentally and physically, I think it turned out to be a pretty great day. I don't need to repeat it all today though!