....and the not so little one's.
It seems they went and made infant car seats a lot heavier since I had my daughter 7 years ago. I have two of them to lug around and it can be a lot even without RA. Now try to imagine two babies in heavy car seats combined with an RA flare and my unreasonable need to do everything for myself.
Recently my 11 year old stepson and I were out running some errands. That particular day my left hand was hurting, which is good for many reasons, the right hand being out of commission makes almost all tasks harder. I can get away with not using my left hand easier. However, unlatching the car seats from the bases requires a difficult squeezing motion with the left hand, while pulling up with my right forearm under the car seat handle, standing on the runner on the side of the minivan to give me the most leverage. Most days I can manage it, but on this particular day it was nearly impossible. The first couple times I did it that day I was able to get the car seats out after several attempts. We got out of the car a third time and I was trying but making no progress. My stepson looked at me and asked, "do you want me to do it?" He said it with a smile and an upbeat voice - he was glad to help. I sighed, defeated. "Yes, thank you."
I remember another time not too long after my diagnosis, I was visiting a friend and getting my sleeping child and a bunch of bags out of the car. My friend's husband asked what he could carry and I gave him one bag, loaded two others on my shoulders and went to pick up my then 4 year old daughter. He asked if he couldn't carry all the bags and I said "no, I got it." He said "yes, I see that but wouldn't it be easier if you let me help you?" He made it really hard to say no.
I have a ton of examples of my husband, my stepsons and my daughter helping me when I want to do something myself and simply can't - almost daily. Those medicine bottles I can only sometimes get open, carrying the car seats to and from the car, unloading groceries so I don't have to, running to the other room because it's painful to get up and walk there myself.... I suppose I like to pretend I can do it all myself, but I really don't do it all myself.
So maybe RA is life's way of trying to teach me that it's okay to accept help from others, and to stop fighting so hard against it....
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